the story is, I was searching on how to make 'jailhouse acid' by doing something with orange peels and toothpaste. then I found out that it takes 6 months and you have to smoke it, which made me sad. I decided to keep reading because things that fuck you up are always interesting.

so one thing led to another, and after another it led to fluoride and oranges mixed (brushing your teeth, then drinking orange juice), and gathered from that information, I was convinced it would be the all-time taste-bud catastrophe. and since I have a perfectly balanced ego, I was convinced that it would be nothing and that they were just pussies.

after the attempt, I started to hate my tongue -- even contemplated killing it. so one night, I snuck into Tongue's room, and I found him sitting on Nerve-Fiber's face. Tongue had made a deal with Nerve-Fiber to "Tell Brain what food tastes like if it was sold to the Devil." this is one of the more advanced stages of eroticism to biologists, and unfortunately it's a relatively rare occurence.

but anyway, I'm standing in the doorway watching a bundle of muscle T-Bag an electronic-cell conductor (which probably made the sex great), and I started laughing at what I was seeing. the 'couple' notices, where they stared at me without eyes, stunned that they had broken the rule to not let their owners know that his organs are capable of leaving the body and having sex. right then, a man wearing sunglasses and a black suit came in, and he pointed an unnecessarily large gun at the two beasts, and vaporized them without hesitation.

"Who was this man?" I thought, but I didn't care. what better way for a complete stranger to avenge myself and enforce that I knew of the flavor-conspiracy before I went through such hell. after I was done pointing and laughing at a puddle of muck, the man confronted me with a grin and a flash of light coming from a cycloptic, metallic dildo.

"No use," I said, as I am an insomniac and all retinal-derived weapons will fail, " just fucking stop." and still more flashing. I was convinced he wouldn't stop, so I looked around my room for Merlin's Staff. when I found it I summoned Tenshinhan (Tien, for the dumbfucks), who is 50% asshole, 75% badass, and 126% awesome. naturally I summoned him for a Sensu Smoothie and a discussion over the finer points of globalization, but when he noticed the 'Flasher', I saw the same look in his eye than that same time I saw an illustration of some douche who tried to survive Helios' gaze.

so 10shenhan let out the 'Solar Flare', which I like to call 'Big White Bananza'. the man did a little less flashing and a little more eye-socket-bleeding. I'm talking to you now, watching Tien torture him by sending beams through shaping his hands, which needed to shape into a triangle to achieve. I told him to try a circle, but all that did was force every last drop of defecation out of the man's ass; dehydrating and killing him. I looked under my desk and found a spare tongue and axon, inserted them, and felt the complimentary blast of flavor. man, I'm so awesome.

P.S. - Tien says hi.

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