You ever feel like this?
I hate trusting people. I have only a select amount of people that I feel
I can really trust about everything; it is a single digit number. Why do
people not think about any of their actions and how much it will fuck me
hurts other people before they do it? I don't know. I wish more people had
common sense; the world would be a better place. Some people don't
understand how much hardship they put on me when I trust them with
something and then they let it all out; they don't understand what it does
and how it affects my life. Living here has caused me to live my social
life around certain people in a way that I find to be incredibly fake, and
I hate that. The fact is this: I am so afraid of what people think about
me that many times if I know I'm going to run into someone who I am
uncomfortable around, I sit thinking about exactly what I am going to say.
I then feel like I'm reading off a fucking script when I talk to them, and
I'm a very, very bad actor. This happens so much now I feel like not even
talking to some people. They all take things the wrong way. And once it's
percieved the wrong way, I am lashed with sarcasm. I hate sarcasm. People
don't realize that being sarcastic is horrible and hurtful. I am sarcastic
a lot myself, though, so I guess I am a hypocrite, but I am sorry to
anyone I am sarcastic to... I don't really mean it. I hate living my life
like a play, and I hate the fact that the majority of the things I do are
solely to impress other people. I am a very shallow person, and the funny
thing is I'm not even a "loser" or anything like that that this might make
me out to be. I would say I am pretty popular at my school, I guess, and
there are even some people there that I would take bullets for. I'm not
fake around everyone, probably three or four people ( all being girls ),
mainly because there are a lot of people that I know that I really do like
a lot and are great friends. The fact is, I am just severely dissapointed
in a few of my friends(girls) right now because I feel like they didn't
think about what would happen to me and what I would be losing, and how
much it mattered to me and how deep my feelings were, when they went
against exactly what I told them to do. I wish I knew more un-selfcentered
people.
I can really trust about everything; it is a single digit number. Why do
people not think about any of their actions and how much it will fuck me
hurts other people before they do it? I don't know. I wish more people had
common sense; the world would be a better place. Some people don't
understand how much hardship they put on me when I trust them with
something and then they let it all out; they don't understand what it does
and how it affects my life. Living here has caused me to live my social
life around certain people in a way that I find to be incredibly fake, and
I hate that. The fact is this: I am so afraid of what people think about
me that many times if I know I'm going to run into someone who I am
uncomfortable around, I sit thinking about exactly what I am going to say.
I then feel like I'm reading off a fucking script when I talk to them, and
I'm a very, very bad actor. This happens so much now I feel like not even
talking to some people. They all take things the wrong way. And once it's
percieved the wrong way, I am lashed with sarcasm. I hate sarcasm. People
don't realize that being sarcastic is horrible and hurtful. I am sarcastic
a lot myself, though, so I guess I am a hypocrite, but I am sorry to
anyone I am sarcastic to... I don't really mean it. I hate living my life
like a play, and I hate the fact that the majority of the things I do are
solely to impress other people. I am a very shallow person, and the funny
thing is I'm not even a "loser" or anything like that that this might make
me out to be. I would say I am pretty popular at my school, I guess, and
there are even some people there that I would take bullets for. I'm not
fake around everyone, probably three or four people ( all being girls ),
mainly because there are a lot of people that I know that I really do like
a lot and are great friends. The fact is, I am just severely dissapointed
in a few of my friends(girls) right now because I feel like they didn't
think about what would happen to me and what I would be losing, and how
much it mattered to me and how deep my feelings were, when they went
against exactly what I told them to do. I wish I knew more un-selfcentered
people.
┼Angelwings┼
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 645
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